Every now and then, we hear cases about violence against women and female children from every part of the world. The news headlines flash about the brutal and heinous crimes committed against women by men, be it rape, murder, domestic violence etc.
To solve these issues and to empower the women, our law provides various remedies and rights to the women, so that crime and violence against them reduces, and eventually comes to an end. On one hand, these rights and remedies provided to the women have really helped in improving their situation and have empowered them to take a stand for themselves, and on the other hand, women are misusing these rights against men only.
For instance, let’s take the recent case which took place in Amity University, Noida. A girl falsely accused a group of boys of molestation just because they told her to move her car which was blocking their car. Let’s also throw light on a very famous false-dowry case known as Nisha Sharma v. Munish Dalal and family. In this case, Nisha Sharma who was the wife of Munish Sharma was having an extra-marital affair and wanted to ditch her marriage so she put false dowry allegations on Munish and his family and they were convicted for 9 years.
This way she misused her rights for her own benefits. Many men all over the world are going through the same torture that Munish went through. Several women instead of using their rights at times of need, use them by falsely accusing men of the crime they have not even committed.
The ironic thing here is that, our law which talks about ‘Right to Equality’, does not follow it themselves. There are several laws made for the protection of women but not even one single law is provided for the protection of men. Where is equality now?
Our law has assumed that violence of any form can only be caused by a male perpetrator. But what about violence against men which is caused by women?
If a man says that he has been raped then the society laughs at him, makes a joke out of it because “men” are supposed to be strong, how can they be raped? This is the reason that the issue of violence against men has been silent for so long. Men prefer to stay silent rather than get insulted for reporting the violence caused against them. They feel their reputation will be harmed and they will lose their status in the society.
Section 498A of Indian Penal Code is a strong anti-dowry law which was made in 1983 after many cases of dowry deaths was being reported. It’s so ironic that the law which was made to save lives, had instead taken many lives. This law is the most abused law in the history of Indian law. Women use this law against their abusive husbands without even thinking about its consequences. This law prescribes immediate arrest of the persons accused. In many cases, the wives, in order to take revenge from their husbands or to blackmail their husbands, file a false dowry complaint against him and her in-laws. The innocent husband and his parents have to face severe consequences and their life is ruined. So many husbands spend years in jail when they are unable to prove their innocence until the court finally acquits them. Several men kill themselves because they are unable to bear the harassment and hatred they face from the society for something which they have not even done. In Delhi, an estimated 24% of calls to women’s helplines are from men in distress. Many lives are being destroyed and thousands of people are killing themselves because the only way they find out of this vicious cycle is taking their own lives.
Violence does not only mean physical violence. Violence can be sexual, emotional, psychological, spiritual or financial. Sexual violence in the form of rape or unwanted sexual activity committed against men. Emotional and psychological violence in the form of using hurtful words or actions or torturing a person mentally to such an extent that he decides to kill himself. Financial abuse means to control, misuse or forcefully acquire a person’s property or money. Neglecting a person is also another type of abuse. If a person is denied of basic necessities such as food, shelter, clothing etc., then that will also adversely affect a person’s mental and physical condition.
Majority of the members of the parliament are men and still they don’t understand the condition of the men and make laws for their protection. Men are suffering in silence and women who have been given rights for their protection are misusing it.
Since our law has no provisions for helping the aggrieved men, there are several help groups, NGO’s, counseling organizations etc. that work for these aggrieved and helpless men. They guide them, counsel them and provide them with solutions to their problems. Several men are being benefitted by this initiative taken by these institutions. These support groups provide therapy to men who get out of an abusive relationship, or have faced any physical or mental violence. They guide them to get back to their normal selves and motivate them to move forward in life.
It is very important for the men suffering from any kind of abuse to report it, to get the help they need. It will not make them less of a man if they ask for help, nor will it mean that they’ve failed as a husband. Asking for help from an expert like a lawyer or the police will help them tackle the situation with a little ease. Getting support from family and friends and talking to someone they trust will also help in dealing with their feeling of loneliness or helplessness.
It’s high time now, our country is developing in terms of everything except people’s mentality. Crime against men are not taken seriously but if any crime against a woman takes place then the whole country unites to raise their voice. This is unfair on the part of the men who are always expected to portray themselves as “strong” and “fearless”. It is very important for the society to understand that it is okay for a boy or a man to cry, it is okay for him to be weak sometimes, it is okay for him to be scared, but is it not okay for him to be judged upon when a crime has been committed against him. After all he is also a human being. He has feelings, and he is allowed to grieve when those feelings of his are hurt.
This is something very serious and the law makers should make laws for the protection of men also or they should make the existing provisions gender-neutral. I am not against women but I am against injustice. Being a girl myself I am not talking about the violence against women today, because the whole world talks about that. I am throwing light on the violence against men because no one talks about that. Concluding my view, I would like to mention that, we teach our sons to respect every girl as they respect their mothers and sisters, but instead, we should teach both our sons and daughters right from the very beginning to respect every individual, be it a male or a female because everyone deserves the same respect and everyone should be treated equally so that no human should go through any kind of violence.